Quote

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Philosophy
Crazy
Funny
Truth
Craziness
Women
Ironic
Reason
Wedding
Men
Main
Stupid

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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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