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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Environment
Grain
Skies
Oily
Song
Plain
Ecology
Mined
Nature
Environmental
Strip
Asphalt
Beautiful
Thee
Conservation
Billboard
America
Sky
Majesty
Pines
Men
Sea
Pollution
Sheds
Mountain
Signs
Billboards
Waste
Shed
Hides
More quotes by George Carlin
One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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