Quote

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Song
Plain
Ecology
Mined
Nature
Environmental
Strip
Asphalt
Beautiful
Thee
Conservation
Billboard
America
Sky
Majesty
Pines
Men
Sea
Pollution
Sheds
Mountain
Signs
Billboards
Waste
Shed
Hides
Environment
Grain
Skies
Oily

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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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