Quote

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Men
Sea
Pollution
Sheds
Mountain
Signs
Billboards
Waste
Shed
Hides
Oily
Environment
Grain
Skies
Song
Plain
Ecology
Mined
Nature
Environmental
Strip
Asphalt
Beautiful
Thee
Conservation
Billboard
America
Sky
Majesty
Pines

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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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