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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Men
Love
Deal
Deals
Funny
Earth
Women

More quotes by George Carlin

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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
George Carlin
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
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Surround yourself with what you love.
George Carlin
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
George Carlin
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
George Carlin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
George Carlin
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
George Carlin
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
George Carlin
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
George Carlin
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
George Carlin
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
George Carlin
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
George Carlin
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
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If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
George Carlin
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
George Carlin
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin