Quote

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Little
Tiny
Wondered
Baby
Babies
Humor
Sarcastic
Funny
Mothers
Use
Feed
Mother
Witty
Toothpicks
Thought
Humorous
Spoons
Littles
Chinese
Forks

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The future will soon be a thing of the past.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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