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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Baby
Babies
Humor
Sarcastic
Funny
Mothers
Use
Feed
Mother
Witty
Toothpicks
Thought
Humorous
Spoons
Littles
Chinese
Forks
Little
Tiny
Wondered
More quotes by George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
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I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
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Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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No comment is a comment.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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