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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Half
Pessimism
Bigs
Twice
Others
Optimism
Needs
Glass
People
Glasses
Perspective
Empty
Full

More quotes by George Carlin

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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
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Your home is your refuge.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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