Quote

You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Really
Maintain
World
Spread
Harder
Longer
Maui
Lines
Honolulu
Getting
Storage
Stuff
Supply
Home
Pockets

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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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