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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Work
Worked
Lamp
Much
Late
Thomas
Made
Seem
Lamps
Comedy
Urgent
Sure
Gas
Night
Candle
Light
Electric
Seems
Genuine
Edison
More quotes by George Carlin
People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
George Carlin
Does killing time damage eternity?
George Carlin
Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
George Carlin
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
George Carlin
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
George Carlin
The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
George Carlin
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin
The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
George Carlin
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
George Carlin
Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
George Carlin
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin