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The status quo sucks.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Life
Sucks
Status
Humor
Comedy

More quotes by George Carlin

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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
George Carlin
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
George Carlin
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George Carlin
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
George Carlin
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
George Carlin
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
George Carlin
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
George Carlin
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Surround yourself with what you love.
George Carlin
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
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The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
George Carlin
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
George Carlin
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
George Carlin