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Religion is just mind control.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Comedian
Control
Religion
Funny
Mind

More quotes by George Carlin

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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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