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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Time
Periods
Dying
Amount
Comedy
Saliva
Small
Swallowing
Funny
Amounts
Death
Caused
Long
Period
More quotes by George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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Hooray for most things!
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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Religion is just mind control.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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