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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Time
Periods
Dying
Amount
Comedy
Saliva
Small
Swallowing
Funny
Amounts
Death
Caused
Long
Period
More quotes by George Carlin
Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
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I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
George Carlin
Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
George Carlin
Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
George Carlin
People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
George Carlin
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
George Carlin
