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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Texas
Genuine
Funny
Part
Executions
Good
Texans
Texan
Execution
Fewer
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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