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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Speak
Left
Persons
Strips
Person
Speaks
Firsts
Witty
First
Comic
Always
Genuine
Funny
More quotes by George Carlin
There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
George Carlin
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
George Carlin
When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
George Carlin
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
George Carlin
Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
George Carlin
Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
George Carlin
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
George Carlin
On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
George Carlin
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
George Carlin
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
Language always gives you away.
George Carlin
Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
George Carlin
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
George Carlin
The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
George Carlin
Life is tough, then you die.
George Carlin
I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
George Carlin
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
George Carlin
I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
George Carlin
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
