Quote

When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Impatient
Genuine
Havens
Haven
Says
Wonder
Someone
Always

More quotes by George Carlin

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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word cynic has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. George, you're cynical. Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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