Quote

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Genuine
Wouldn
Comedy
Funny
Going
Sarcastic
Witty
Humorous

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
George Carlin
Image
Life is a zero sum game.
George Carlin
Image
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin
Image
If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
George Carlin
Image
Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
George Carlin
Image
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
George Carlin
Image
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
Image
You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
George Carlin
Image
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
Image
Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
George Carlin
Image
We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
George Carlin
Image
Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
George Carlin
Image
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
George Carlin
Image
There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
George Carlin
Image
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
George Carlin
Image
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
Image
I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
Image
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
Image
By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
George Carlin
Image
We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin