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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Tools
Large
Language
Truth
Concealing
Tool
Genuine
More quotes by George Carlin
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
George Carlin
Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
George Carlin
We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
George Carlin
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin
Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
George Carlin
One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George Carlin
I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
George Carlin
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin
I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
George Carlin
We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
George Carlin
The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
All music is the blues. All of it.
George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
George Carlin
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
