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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Liberty
Dump
Fire
Sarcasm
Fighting
Libertarian
Freedom
Fighter
Peace
Comedian
Funny
Crime
Wells
Fight
Well
Comedy
Fighters
More quotes by George Carlin
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George Carlin
Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
George Carlin
The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
George Carlin
