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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Fighting
Libertarian
Freedom
Fighter
Peace
Comedian
Funny
Crime
Wells
Fight
Well
Comedy
Fighters
Liberty
Dump
Fire
Sarcasm
More quotes by George Carlin
We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
George Carlin
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
George Carlin
Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
George Carlin
Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
George Carlin
I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
George Carlin
It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
George Carlin
There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others were, but it made me very inner-directed. So being in a sketch and rehearsing and the hail fellow well met camaraderie and all that stuff, I couldn't fake that or force that. It was painful.
George Carlin
Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
Life is not that complicated.
George Carlin
Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
George Carlin
In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
George Carlin
How is it possible to have a civil war?
George Carlin
If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
George Carlin
I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
George Carlin
The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
George Carlin
