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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Well
Comedy
Fighters
Liberty
Dump
Fire
Sarcasm
Fighting
Libertarian
Freedom
Fighter
Peace
Comedian
Funny
Crime
Wells
Fight
More quotes by George Carlin
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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