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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Wells
Fight
Well
Comedy
Fighters
Liberty
Dump
Fire
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Fighting
Libertarian
Freedom
Fighter
Peace
Comedian
Funny
Crime
More quotes by George Carlin
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin
There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin
A pear is a failed apple.
George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
George Carlin
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
George Carlin
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George Carlin
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
George Carlin
What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
George Carlin
Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
George Carlin
The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
George Carlin
What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
George Carlin
God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
George Carlin
Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
George Carlin
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin