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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Atheist
Organization
Atheism
Religion
Prophet

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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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