Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Wickedness
Force
Sarcastic
House
Witty
Become
Comedian
May
Confused
Way
Humorous
Forces
Evil
More quotes by George Carlin
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
George Carlin
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
George Carlin
When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
George Carlin
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
I believe you can joke about anything.
George Carlin
The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
George Carlin
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
George Carlin
I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin
That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
George Carlin
Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin
Hooray for most things!
George Carlin
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
George Carlin
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin