Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Way
Humorous
Forces
Evil
Funny
Wickedness
Force
Sarcastic
House
Witty
Become
Comedian
May
Confused
More quotes by George Carlin
It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
George Carlin
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
George Carlin
I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
George Carlin
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
George Carlin
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
George Carlin
Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
George Carlin
First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
George Carlin
What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
George Carlin
I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
George Carlin
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
George Carlin
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
George Carlin
I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
George Carlin
You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
George Carlin
