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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Alone
Aimed
Rather
Settled
Funny
Genuine
Universe
Lows
True
Perception
Littles
Species
Little
Perspective
Humor
Sleet

More quotes by George Carlin

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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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Your home is your refuge.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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