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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Rather
Settled
Funny
Genuine
Universe
Lows
True
Perception
Littles
Species
Little
Perspective
Humor
Sleet
Alone
Aimed

More quotes by George Carlin

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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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The status quo sucks.
George Carlin
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
George Carlin
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
George Carlin
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George Carlin
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
George Carlin
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
George Carlin
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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