Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humor
Dawned
Comedy
Exam
Read
Witty
Funny
Final
Seems
Finals
Whole
Bible
Thinking
Older
People
Seem
Cramming
More quotes by George Carlin
That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
George Carlin
Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
George Carlin
Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
George Carlin
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
George Carlin
Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
George Carlin
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
George Carlin
All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
George Carlin
Your home is your refuge.
George Carlin
It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
George Carlin
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
George Carlin
To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
George Carlin
It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
George Carlin
Life is tough, then you die.
George Carlin
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin