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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Seem
Cramming
Humor
Dawned
Comedy
Exam
Read
Witty
Funny
Final
Seems
Finals
Whole
Bible
Thinking
Older

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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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