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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Final
Seems
Finals
Whole
Bible
Thinking
Older
People
Seem
Cramming
Humor
Dawned
Comedy
Exam
Read
Witty

More quotes by George Carlin

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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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A pear is a failed apple.
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Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
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