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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Soul
Roof
Stuck
Laughter
Gets
Goes
Belief
Dies
Frisbee
Funny
Afterlife
More quotes by George Carlin
They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
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Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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