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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Soul
Roof
Stuck
Laughter
Gets
Goes
Belief
Dies
Frisbee
Funny
Afterlife
More quotes by George Carlin
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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