Quote

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Humor
Asks
Funny
Dream
Work
Things
Never
Time

More quotes by George Carlin

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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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Religion is just mind control.
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
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I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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