Quote

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Anyone
Faster
Jerk
Funny
Driving
Sarcastic
Inspirational
Safety
Traffic
Ever
Anger
Noticed
Complainers
Going
Car
Witty
Maniac
Life
Anybody
Comedian
Maniacs
Humor
Idiot
Slower
Comedy
Humorous
Moron

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
George Carlin
Image
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
George Carlin
Image
Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
George Carlin
Image
On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
George Carlin
Image
If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
George Carlin
Image
Religion is just mind control.
George Carlin
Image
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
George Carlin
Image
I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
George Carlin
Image
We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
George Carlin
Image
People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
George Carlin
Image
It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
George Carlin
Image
I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
George Carlin
Image
Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
Image
I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
George Carlin
Image
Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
George Carlin
Image
No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
George Carlin
Image
Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
George Carlin
Image
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
George Carlin
Image
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
George Carlin
Image
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin