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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Thinking
Drink
Cigars
Life
Ought
Martini
People
Guy
Cigar
Age
Retire
Show
Retired
Business
Retiring
Shows
Smoke
Think
Sing
Martinis

More quotes by George Burns

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At my age flowers scare me.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns