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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Age
Retire
Show
Retired
Business
Retiring
Shows
Smoke
Think
Sing
Martinis
Thinking
Drink
Cigars
Life
Ought
Martini
People
Guy
Cigar
More quotes by George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
