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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Married
Girl
Monroe
Marilyn
Cheat
Ugly
More quotes by George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
