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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Marilyn
Cheat
Ugly
Married
Girl
Monroe
More quotes by George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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Life's but a day at most.
George Burns
When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
