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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Monroe
Marilyn
Cheat
Ugly
Married
Girl
More quotes by George Burns
I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
George Burns
The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
George Burns
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
George Burns
I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
