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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Stay
Business
Enough
Long
More quotes by George Burns
And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns
It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George Burns
There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
George Burns
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
George Burns
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
George Burns
Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns