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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Getting
Upon
Today
Time
Screen
Screens
Actresses
Appear

More quotes by George Burns

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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
George Burns
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
George Burns
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
George Burns
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
George Burns
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
George Burns
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
George Burns
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George Burns
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
George Burns
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
George Burns
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
George Burns
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
George Burns
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns