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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Ways
Alone
Dies
Best
Many
Way
Bed

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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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Life's but a day at most.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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