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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Bed
Ways
Alone
Dies
Best
Many
Way

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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Life's but a day at most.
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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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At my age flowers scare me.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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