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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Dies
Best
Many
Way
Bed
Ways
Alone

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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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Life's but a day at most.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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