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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Smoke
Coffee
Drink
Hand
Talk
Left
Hands
Right

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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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Life's but a day at most.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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