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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Smoke
Coffee
Drink
Hand
Talk
Left
Hands
Right
More quotes by George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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Life's but a day at most.
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In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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