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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Hands
Right
Smoke
Coffee
Drink
Hand
Talk
Left

More quotes by George Burns

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Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Life's but a day at most.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns