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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Coffee
Drink
Hand
Talk
Left
Hands
Right
Smoke

More quotes by George Burns

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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
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It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
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I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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