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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Jack
Rocks
Bring
Party
Benny
Scotch
More quotes by George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.
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I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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