Quote

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Bring
Party
Benny
Scotch
Jack
Rocks

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There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone.
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I don't care what you do for a living. If you love it, you are a success.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
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I get a standing ovation just standing
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
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None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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