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When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Jack
Rocks
Bring
Party
Benny
Scotch
More quotes by George Burns
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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I did go to school - my kind of school. When I was a kid I went out ... and you meet people. You talk to them. Anybody says something that makes sense, it stays with you, rubs off on you. That kind of school.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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