Quote

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Benny
Scotch
Jack
Rocks
Bring
Party

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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
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When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
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I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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My major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
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Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.
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I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
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I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
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Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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