Quote

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Jack
Rocks
Bring
Party
Benny
Scotch

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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
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Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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When I wasn't working, I put the blame directly where it belonged - I blamed my agent. When I didn't have an agent, I spent time looking for a new agent so I would have somebody to blame.
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
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How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like.
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Life's but a day at most.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.
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Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
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Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
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