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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

George Burns

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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Bangs
Gang
Critics
Eunuchs
Bang

More quotes by George Burns

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Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
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Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
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Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
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I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
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If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
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I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
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She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
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In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
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There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
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Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
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I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
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If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
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How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
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Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
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Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
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As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
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Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns