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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Eunuchs
Bang
Bangs
Gang
Critics
More quotes by George Burns
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
George Burns
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.
George Burns
Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen.
George Burns
In those days the best painkiller was ice it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it.
George Burns
Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
George Burns
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.
George Burns
At my age flowers scare me.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children.
George Burns
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
George Burns
Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.
George Burns
When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.
George Burns
I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.
George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
George Burns
