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Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
George Burns
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George Burns
Age: 100 †
Born: 1896
Born: January 20
Died: 1996
Died: March 9
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Street Artist
Television Actor
Writer
New York City
New York
Nathan Birnbaum
George N. Burns
Bangs
Gang
Critics
Eunuchs
Bang
More quotes by George Burns
Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.
George Burns
Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .
George Burns
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George Burns
Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size.
George Burns
I'm onstage for an hour.I do an hour of stand-up. Actually, I do 10 minutes standing up and 50 minutes sitting in a chair. Oh, occasionally, I stand up again to do a dance or put over a song. But mostly I sit down. A great invention, sitting down.
George Burns
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
George Burns
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
George Burns
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
George Burns
She didn't need to go to acting school to learn that the essence of acting is to act like you're not acting.
George Burns
In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy.
George Burns
There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George Burns
Since I've made it to 87 so far, obviously my two kids and my seven grandchildren haven't been too hard on me. On the other hand, the fact that I have an unlisted phone number and move a lot might have something to do with it.
George Burns
I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.
George Burns
If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.
George Burns
How can I die? I'm booked.
George Burns
Say Goodnight Gracie.
George Burns
Let me get one thing straight I'm not an authority on sex, I'm more of a fan. I think sex is nice no family should be without it. Of course, there are other things that are just as important as sex, like uh . . . like uh . . . like . . . uh . . . well, I'll think of it later.
George Burns
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns
As long as you're working, you stay young.
George Burns
Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.
George Burns